Introduce him:

“He likes to be referred to as “Little Dude”"

Hit on people:

“The baby wanted to meet you.”

Scam extra beers:

“Thanks for the beer, can I get one for “Little Dude” also ?”

Dealing with your mistakes:

“Oh sorry,  it was the baby, he  likes to grab onto things.”

To Be funny:

“We still aren’t sure who the real mother is.”

You always have a friend:

“I didn’t come alone.” (Point to chest)

Make your move:

“He looks cuter on the bedroom floor.”