Last March, my college and I visited the Tuktoyaktuk headquarters of the NWO to have a meeting with “The Monkey”.

We passed through some heavy security to a large room on top of the fortress, books covered all the walls, and there was a large lit fireplace beside a leather armchair, where "The Monkey" stoked the fire.

He spoke, “In order to become above average, you must do things differently than the masses."

He picked up a bottle of beer from beside his chair, put on his headphones and began to sway to some music that my college and I couldn’t hear. There was a shine in his eyes, possibly from the fire, or an internal glow fueled by his great wisdom. He said something I will never forget.

“Good Monkey Like Beer Not Like Banana.”